Thursday, August 7, 2008

I Have a Husband Somewhere

I think he lives in our house
I see him in passing in the mornings sometimes
And late at night I probably bump into him in bed
I'm sure he's had an interesting week
So have I
I guess I'll tell him all about it when I see him this weekend.

Friday, July 11, 2008

In-laws = Anal Probes

I firmly believe if one cannot handle a discussion, DON'T start one!! Wouldn't you agree?

We had an interesting phone conversation today with one of my husband's relatives. It started with text messages going back and forth (not initiated by him) and finally the phone rang and the conversation began. J was in one of his more pleasant moods today so he was joking around and trying to keep the conversation light while God and the Bible were being preached to him over thousands of miles. I finally got the phone and announced that it was pointless preaching the virtues of God and religion to an atheist. Well, that didn't go over very well and I was instantly asked how the kids were doing. I then made my second mistake, I told her.

After discussing them and the hows, whys, wheres and whats about their new school, she said "Oh so this means you guys are really settling there and have no wish to come here."

Hmm, so I told her that yes we were settled here (we live here FFS) and that we don't really think about going anywhere since the whole "immigrate to the US" didn't work out (long story). So she THEN implied that WE were responsible for it not working out. Yeah right, WE'RE the ones who hired the lawyer there, were supposed to send the approved documents across and handle all the details THERE. Not them who promised that all we had to do was submit a few required documents and then sit tight, which we did... for THREE frickin YEARS.

I don't think she liked when I politely mentioned that we were still waiting the approved documents she was supposed to send us a year back. She got all snotty and said something which sounded like "that's not true, the fault is not ours." Then she said well I don't want to talk about this, I don't see the point. Well, next time don't bring it up lady. I have NO problems not discussing years of deceit and crap with the people who dished it out to us, what I do have a problem with is them constantly mentioning stuff which they have no business mentioning, and then become pains in the asses about it.

But I cannot really blame them... it's In-lawism, no cure yet and no available island with all communication cut off to send them to.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Q: Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother-in-law?

A: A vicious dog eventually lets go!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Summer Sucks!

Wow.. over a month and no updates from me. I've been so busy since the summer set in here, which I hate by the way... summer that is. When people all over the world are getting overly excited about lazy summer days and spending time outdoors in warm weather, I'm usually cringing with disgust at the thought of heat, humidity and the constant ick of Karachi summers. You'd have to experience just one summer in Karachi to develop a hatred for the season. I can't describe it, but I love to hate it!!

Aside from getting the house in order during the day, keeping the kids busy and then taking them out almost every evening to discover new and exciting places, I've done nothing for me.. surprise, surprise!! I did think about getting my hair cut, but haven't gotten around to that either. So, now it's just hanging down my back, past my waist and doing nothing. It's probably adding ten years to my face, but who has the time to care that I probably look like my kids grandmother right?

I also thought I'd get a little tattoo done this summer, I know exactly what I want and asked my best friend to design one for me, since she has artistic talent coming out of her ears. So I should at least get that accomplished, maybe throw in a spa day and pamper myself a little too.

The guy I call my husband is off for the summer. Wonderful having him home and all that, specially since the kids get to see a lot of him. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to see much of him except for last Sunday when we both spent the entire evening at Roasters drinking coffee and snacking on appetizers. It's our "thing" you know, to go out and find a quiet little cafe type place where we spend hours just chatting while trying various items from the menu. Sadly, we did that more when we were dating, and now manage to squeeze in a few "cafe hunts" a year when the kids are tucked away at grandma's.

I love that alone time with him, we either have nice quiet chats about this and that, or fierce debates which scare the waiters into staying away from our table. No mushy hand holding, gazing into each others eyes crap for us. we leave that to the young ones who when they have kids someday will understand the importance of choosing a partner you can talk to if nothing else. ;)

How mindless was this post? :D

Must rush.. I have a ton of things to do before we get ready to head out this evening. More updates as and when.


Sunday, May 25, 2008

I Bow Down to You My Lord and Master. With Fear, Your Submissive Wife

There's an interesting discussion on feminism going on right now, on on one of the message boards I frequent. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised that in this day and age, so many people actually believe that women still fall into a certain "role," as do men. Although, why I'm surprised is beyond me, considering where I live mostly what I see on a daily basis is submissive women and dominating men. I guess, my surprise is that it's alive and apparently growing stronger in a country like America, with all credit going to the more conservative Christian society. To be honest with you, I don't see much difference between the world I live in, and the ultra conservatives of the west. I suppose the fundamentalist way of life is the fundamentalist way of life, regardless of which religion one belongs to.

Of course, I'm not comparing the far right of the west to the extremism of the east, however, the basics of both religions when looked at from a fundamentalist standpoint are so similar, it's startling.

I'm a feminist, but not one of those "how dare you hold the door open for me" ones. I consider everyone equal, and have never, and never will fall for all the "roles" alloted to men and women by society. I find it demeaning to both genders, that society prevents them from living up to their true potential. I've seen men refuse to work in their own homes, because it's "the woman's job" and I've seen women bow down and treat those men like kings because their "role" requires them to do so. I find it bordering on ridiculous, and I'm not sorry if that really offends anyone, because I feel that if they practice that, then they need to take a good hard look at themselves, and realize that it is, well... ridiculous! Can you tell I'm at a loss for words? It's because I'm sputtering with indignation at the injustices society and religion force on people, and because many people fall for it.

When I was 12 my parents separated. My mother always worked, even before her separation from my father. Then she became a single working mom. I've learned some of the best lessons in my life just watching how she managed hers without any help from my father, or family. So today while I'm a (temporary) SAHM, it's with the utmost confidence that I know it's what I choose to do, not what I think is expected of me as a wife and mother by the dictates of society, religion, lack of religion or anything else.

My children are already learning that everyone is equal. My son will learn that chivalry does not mean domination in any sense, as much as my daughter will learn to appreciate chivalry when she encounters it. And both will learn to live up to their full potential as human beings and to leave this whole "role playing" crap to actors, or if they're in an office management training course.

On a side note, I'd like to thank those of you who've been visiting my blog for the last month and a half, and finding no updates. Life has just been busy with a little bit of this, and a little bit of crap. ;)

Monday, March 31, 2008

Single, With Kids, And Dating

I'd like to say at the outset that this post may come across as harsh, even though I've tried my best to stay objective. It's not easy walking in another person's shoes, so to all single parents out there, I apologize for anything I say which may piss you off, while I attempt to organize my thoughts.

I came across an interesting thread on one of the online communities I belong to. It was regarding single parents and dating. One poster asked when it was appropriate to introduce small children to the new person in their life.. and that got me thinking.

Is it really necessary to begin dating when one has small children? I really don't think so, although I can understand a person's need for companionship. However, with all the horror stories one hears about, it's a little scary to think of some psycho, posing as an eligible partner, whose only thought is to harm your kids. That alone is enough to convince me that it shouldn't be done, not when the kids are small anyway. Is that a pessimistic/paranoid approach? I suppose it is in a sense. But isn't the best interests of your child more important than a stranger? I'd rather be a pessimistic, paranoid freak, than let any harm come to my children. LOL I'm a bit of an extremist, can you tell? But no I don't live in seclusion ;)

I am thankful that I'm not in a position where I have to face life alone, and I'm sorry that people due to circumstance have to. On the one hand I want to encourage them to get on with life, and live it to it's fullest, but on the other hand I wonder why that can not be done alone? I know I could do it, because I'm one of those who "needs because I love" and not "loves because I need".

When I think about so many marriages that take a back seat once the kids arrive, I wonder how people can think of dates and meeting new people? I mean, I have a man right here in my house and I don't have time for him (sorry honey), so if I were single, how the hell would I make time for someone?

Am I coming across as a woman so secure in the knowledge that she has a man around that I have no clue about the trials of single parenthood? Or am I just a tough cookie who knows she can make it on her own?

I'd appreciate comments, as I plan to blog more about this after I ponder it some more. And if there are any single parents out there dating, I'd love to get some insight from you... who knows, I may not be seeing something you see. :)